Gadgetell | Tech News, Reviews, and Interesting Things

I have seen the iPhone, and all the BlackBerry’s and other smart phones. Then I have heard the cold, dead polyphonic ringtone of my phone with its barely audible Casio keyboard cover of “Superstar”, mocking me. I bought my phone a mere eight months ago, just after the dawn of the iPhone, choosing it for its sleek size, and a consumer review which noted its superior battery life and technical bells and whistles. My phone is an excellent phone, and I could care less.

I want a phone that does everything else, maybe even magic. A phone that takes crystal clear pictures, develops them, and prints them in a matte finish. I want a phone that plays music-actual music, an instrument perhaps the oboe. A phone that plays videos of Bigfoot, The Lock Ness Monster, and proof of Alien life. The “Magic Super Amazing Phone” surfs the web utilizing a touch screen that touches back (delightfully tickling you, nothing else…dirty mind). This phone will not only let me access my email, but automatically interpret what I wish to write back in response and also access my regular mail always blocking junk mail and junk credit card offers. And it is not only compatible with Bluetooth, but Blue Fairy. A tiny blue fairy that whispers in your ear, and grants wishes.

My phone should basically be able to thoroughly thrash your phone. Grinding it to bits and pieces and recycling them. My phone is very green conscious. Now I know that no such phone presently exists, but I am issuing a call to all inventors, create this “Magic Super Amazing Phone” and buyers will come, oh yes they will come. Until that point though I will have to suffer, at least for the length of a very iron clad two year contract.