Gadgetell | Tech News, Reviews, and Interesting Things

This is where we call out by names the actions and companies that seem odd, out of touch or just plain straight up smokin’ crack.  Technology is an odd realm where PR speak doesn’t hold a lot of water if the 1s and 0s don’t line up.  This week sees posturing, positioning and flat out insanity.  Here is what caught my eye this week:

Phone companies

Our Executive Editor, Adam Berger, sent me this offer yesterday suggesting they were on crack:

Great deal for you. Free phones for the family.  Buy any Verizon Wireless phone for $29.99 or more and get 3 MOTO™ VU204 phones Free MOTO VU204 $29.99 ($79.99 2yr price less $50 mail-in rebate debit card) with new 2yr activation per phone

The classic buy one get three free.  Who does this stuff?  Doesn’t this scream, “The phones are worthless, literally?  We place no value on them and neither should you.”  I know economic times are tough and we’ll see gimmicks like these more and more as companies fight for our bucks, but 3 free phones? 

I was just telling our editor, I’ve got 7 phones on my desk right now and 3 dead ones under it.  How many phones can you handle?  Can you imaging the guy or gal walking out of the Verizon store with a sack slung over his/her back with the 30 free phones he just got?  Ebay is always flush with “free” phones, crackheads.

Dell looking at rehab center materials

Despite the funny post this morning about how Apple could buy you in cash right now, now you tell us about preloading our machines with music.  First, it was Sandisk, now you? 

Dudes, I am working to get as much bloated music off my machines as possible and you crackheads keep ramming it in there.  Every time I turn around another Gig is on there.  Come on, at least let me start out clean.  How about some added disc space or NAS system?  It would make a lot more sense.

Asus, don’t you remember MC Hammer?

Predictable.  All the success goes straight to your head and you start thinking oversized pants, funky shades and luxury netbooks are all hip. 

Really?  A luxury netbook?  Every thinking person I know believes the success of these fun little computers is derived from the fact that a 12 pack purchase isn’t all that financially unreasonable.  They are small, cute, fun and best of all: cheap.

So you blow that model and tells us about a luxury model.  I swear you doped up PC makers plug every single niche before thinking if it makes any sense.  You realize you compete with laptops at that price, right? 

Perhaps the R&D used to build this machine could have been used to make the Eee PC even more affordable, you know, the thing we love about the whole product segment?  If you can’t win over netbook-lover Robert Nelson, then you’ve got no market.

Luxury Eee PC - can’t touch this.

Motorola: what we need to solve this economic situation is a really snazzy $2,000 phone.

Oh, Moto.  I keep extending the branch of peace and you keep peeing on it.  Most folks are freaking about banks going under, the government is writing trillion dollar checks and you are shining up the Aura? 

Gordon Gekko called, he is going to be late to pick this one up on his way home.  Jodie Andrefskri made the funny comparison of buying this or 10 iPhones…hmmm.

I plead for exciting phones and you warm up the CNC machine?  Good gravy man!  Look, it is interesting looking, and might do fine as a buy one get 17 free phone, but this isn’t what I meant the past four Who’s on Cracks when I called you out. 

Unless your goal is now to keep making me talk about you on my crack list?  Clever.  Very clever, crackhead.

Hard core gamers own “fat jeans?”

This news blows me away and if you’ve not picked up on it, head over to Gamertell and check it out.  When I think of big names in gaming, GTA is in the top five.  But here comes Wii Fit with its soothing music, downward facing dog yoga crap and upturns the whole apple cart?  It seems Wii Fit is on target to surpass GTA in just unit sales (already blows it away in sales dollars).  No way this can happen.

Or could it?  Could it be steering the industry to teens and preteens has skewed the content?  Can Wii bring new fun and life into gaming?  Will we see games catering to soccer moms like plucky games like School Dropoff or Party Arranger 3?  Is the whole premise of the industry on crack?

What did I miss this week?  And don’t say Android.  I am playing a wait and see game, just like everyone else.