Gadgetell | Tech News, Reviews, and Interesting Things

This is where we call out by names the actions and companies that seem odd, out of touch or just plain straight up smokin crack.  Technology is an odd realm where PR speak doesn’t hold a lot of water if the 1s and 0s don’t line up.  This week sees posturing, positioning and flat out insanity.  Here is what caught my eye this week:

Adobe.  The iPhone-Flash obsession is interesting and all but you end up looking like that kid in high school that was crushing on the cheerleader.  The cheerleader doesn’t know you exist.  Carrying this infatuation out over the press by leaks and statements rather than, you know phoning (or texting for you kids out there) the cheerleader.  Where I come from, “no means no”.  Sorry Adobe, hey if I were you I’d keep fighting too; but you are still on crack if you think you are just going to wear Steve down.  Why are these high school metaphors so fitting in tech?

Concert goers.  Aimed at no one in particular, except for the thousands hanging with me in Madison Square Garden last weekend.  People stop taking pictures of the band with your phone.  Here is a freebie, copy this image to your phone.  It is what they all will look like.  Your phone can’t get a good image, but that doesn’t stop thousands, yes thousands of you from trying.  And why only when they play a song you like?  The video is going to be anything to remember either.  My apologies go out to those in the crowds who are actually crackheads, please know that I wouldn’t call you a crackhead if you actually smoked crack.

Robert Nelson.  Sure you might think naming your Editor to a list of crackers might seem arrogant, and you’d be right.  Mr. Nelson was magically whisked away for a Surface-gasm press junket, the content of which he now teases us with daily installments.  I can’t live like that and where is my squishy Surface give-a-way Mr. Nelson?  But that isn’t what gets him on this list.  Oh, no.  It is refusing to ask Microsoft my hardball question, “How long until you intro the Surface Phone?”  Come on, we are all thinking it.  Give us the Surface Phone already, darn you Microsoft!

[to be fair, not asking my question probably saved Mr. Nelson a years worth of street cred]

Sprint.  Yes, I am calling you out for the second game in a row.  Take it personally.  We get that you think the Instinct can be the poor mans iPhone.  We get you’re putting out an SDK (IMO to the sound of crickets chirping peacefully in the brisk night air).  It’s not a half bad phone.  It is, however a half bad web browser and really that makes a lot of the fun in an iPhone; at least for me.  But that doesn’t stop you, like a crack head seeking the next high, you’ll stoop to no uber-Web 2.0 trick to get some attention for this phone.  Can’t blame you, except that you hooked on the rock.

Palm.  Oh Palm, how we want to love you.  Remember the gym membership we bought you back in ‘06?  Remember the clothing we bought you there were a size smaller?  You’ve finally heard us and slimmed a bit with Centro and she sells like hotcakes, lifting you to your biggest volume year ever.  The backside of this is 110 million loss.  Ouch.  This should be your party.  Palm is uniquely positioned as the starter of smartphones (at least one of the biggest maker to bring them to market in a mass fashion).  The boat is sailing, you have tickets and we all want to see you make it.  Time to jump, we can’t wait for the new OS for ever…you crackhead you…

What did you see this week that I missed?