Gadgetell | Tech News, Reviews, and Interesting Things

This is where we call out by names the actions and companies that seem odd, out of touch or just plain straight up smokin crack.  Technology is an odd realm where PR speak doesn’t hold a lot of water if the 1s and 0s don’t line up.  This week sees posturing, positioning and flat out insanity.  Here is what caught my eye this week:

movie-edition phones So everyone is all excited about the Bat Phone are they?  I don’t get it, I mean sure, I am still rolling with my Gigli themed movie phone.  OK, I am not.  And neither should you.  I’ve got the attention span of a fruit fly so these phones just don’t make sense.  I can pretty much safely say that getting one of these won’t make you more attractive, hip or wealthy.  In my opinion, each of those facets take a hit.

I am floored these even get rolled out to customers.  It is like those cars I sometimes see on the highway with the Transformers stickers.  I am pretty sure they know they are not really driving an Autobot, yet, the sticker stays on well past when Transformers has become “tired” (according to Wired magazine who is the official “they say” on this point).  Can someone explain this crackhead mentality of being the uber-consumer?

Now if they make a Clone Wars theme phone, that is totally different.  Crackheads.

iPhone nano for Xmas Hear me now: No way. I’ve been saying Apple should have done this a while ago, but it isn’t going to happen this holiday shopping season.  The lines are still forming for 3G, Mobile Me is an admitted FAIL and who knows what the heck is going on at the app store.  Bloggers and readers that buy into this are hooked on the rock harder than tuna in a can.  (Tuna’s been net-free since ‘93)

With the new iPod intros, maybe a new Mac thingy, Apple has bitten off more than it can chew at the moment.  No way they’ve got the resources and manpower to trump the RAZR with a mini iPhone for the masses.  We’ll be lucky just to see that (RED) iPhone 3G for the holiday.

I would be remiss to mention the marketing genius behind the White iPhone.  Sure I made fun of it at the release, but that was before I learned of the White 3G secret ingredient: CRACKs!  Heck yeah, Apple wants us hooked, so they generously offered surprise crack with each model.  Hold on, whats that?  Oh, wrong crack.  My bad.  Back to the list.

The color brown I am calling today for a mass public boycott of buying anything brown.  Who thinks this hideous shade is in?  Two words: brown Zune.  That should have made the brown color off limits for at least a decade.  Today I read Asus is jumping on brown as is Sony in a camera.  (A word to Sony, keep this kind of thing up and you’ll be on the list next week, you are trying my patience).  What can Brown do you for you?  Get the heck out of gracing gadgetry, cracker. 

To support Gadgetells Boycott (which I’ll have to make JG’s Boycott as the Editors won’t go along with me) of all brown gadget great, leave a comment below with the gadget you were going to buy, but now won’t since it is offered in Brown.  Gosh, I despise brown gadgets.  Heads up Gold, you’ll be next.

Motorola Boys, come back in from hanging out on the stairs in the back of the building.  More of the same is not going to win you any fans.  We all loved your RAZR, and the haptic ROCR was cool as was being the guinnea pig for Apple on that music phone.  Those days are gone.  We need Moto to dig deep and come up with something besides me too stuff.  More colors isn’t going to cut it (don’t even think about brown).  The Alexander looked OK, but round buttons?  Is it a Texas Instruments calculator from 1984?  We want to love you guys, but stop hitting the rock and bring out that haptic touch keyboard I’ve been steering you toward.

What did you see that made you suspect the DEA should be notified?  Let us know in the comments.

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